A Simple, DIY, Hudson Valley wedding - picking a venue

We began a Hudson Valley Wedding series earlier this year and now Amber is back to discuss finding a venue in the Hudson Valley. Read her introduction post to learn more.

Poet's Walk (Red Hook, NY) by Thomm Quackenbush

One advantage of having a wedding in the Hudson Valley is the huge variety of venues that could fit whatever your heart desires. There is everything from small outdoor parks to buildings that might as well be castles (there might be actual castles, really). So, how do you choose?

Pearl Tassel Earrings, 1920s Earrings by merryalchemybridal

For me, I already had a few requirements for a venue before I started looking, and gained a couple while looking, that definitely helped narrow down my options. The place had to be:

1) mostly outside (with the ability to put up a large tent or an inside option in case of rain.)

2) I didn't have to use their caterer/wedding planner/etc.

3) In the general vicinity of $2,000-$5,000, depending what was included.

4) Some indoor bathrooms, even if just for me and the wedding party.

5) A place to stay for the weekend - or longer.

6) Near a body of water would be great.

7) Free for my wedding date. (You can also choose your date based on the venue, I just choose the date first)

8) Fit around 100 people.

9) a BBQ! or place we can set one up.

BBQ Rub - 6 oz by RockerboxGarlic

So, as you can see, there are a ton of things to think about when choosing a venue. At the very least, you should have an idea what you want your wedding to feel like, especially when it comes to formality (generally, inside is considered more formal) and have an idea how much you want to spend as it’s easy to get your heart set on a venue only to find it’s twice as much (if not more) than your budget. It’s also good to have an idea how much work you want to do. There are some venues that will do everything for you and others that leave it all up to you. If you are looking for something less formal, on a low budget, and don’t mind some work, keep in mind friends' and family’s backyards - or even local parks, generally they only charge a few hundred but you might not be able to have alcohol or have to leave at sunset.  And keep in mind that, if you're renting a tent, tables and chairs, they generally don't deliver on the weekends, so you'll need the venue to be okay with delivery on Friday and pick-up on Monday for a weekend wedding.

Bird Necklace * Copper Swallow Necklace by ScrapsandPaper

Whatever it is you want, try not to fall in love with a venue that doesn’t fit all your needs, unless you’re so in love with it that it’s worth changing your plans. Even if your needs seem impossible to meet as mine certainly did, the perfect - or nearly perfect- place is out there, just keep looking!

Ring Bearer Pillow Embroidered White Brocade by HuzzahHandmade

For me, after a few inquiries to local farms, B&Bs, and other such places, I came up with either no response or something incredibly out of my price range (one was $5,000 to use the property, not including any rentals or a place to pee, let alone stay - oh, and some of the info they sent was about how it’s impossible to have an awesome wedding for under $30,000 and that you have too meet with their wedding planner who would help you budget). Eventually, I read an article mentioning websites where people rent out their homes (or second homes) for vacationers to stay in - and some allow weddings! After basically messaging everyone in the Hudson Valley on VRBO.com who looked like they might have a big enough backyard, I found a few that would do and one that was just perfect! We visited and placed a deposit.  I was also incredibly lucky that I contacted her when I did, as she was intending to change the minimum rental to a month, but put it off as not to disappoint a bride!

So keep your eyes open! Anywhere you look could be the perfect place for you and your love to get married and, if you look in unexpected places, you’ll often be rewarded with a lower price - though possibly more work - but a certainly unique experience. Good luck!

Enjoy!
Amber

A Simple, DIY, Hudson Valley Wedding - Intro

Flower and Spiral White Topaz Engagement Ring Set by Moonkisdesigns

To be honest, I've been planning my wedding to Thomm in my head for the past two years - and who can blame me? Weddings are gorgeous! Any excuse I have to look at wedding paraphernalia is good enough for me. But recently, we settled on a date and an engagement ring, so now I'm starting to get into the logistics of holding an actual wedding, which can be a bit overwhelming.

For those of you who don't know, the Hudson Valley is one of the most expensive places to get married. Pretty much anywhere around New York City has an average wedding cost of $30,000-$45,000, although most people get married for less than that, and the biggest weddings may throw off the scale. Chelsea Clinton's wedding in Rhinebeck cost 2 - 5 million, but another recent celebrity wedding between Kristen Bell and Dax Shephard only cost $142 including gas (this wasn't in the Hudson Valley, though). Still, no matter your price range, it's almost impossible to get around the fact that in weddings can be very expensive, both in time and money, and the little things add up fast. 

Wedding Shawl Bridal Accessory white ivory natural by MollysPurl

Now most advice you get on how to hold a "budget" wedding involves cutting your guest list, going off-season, only serving desserts, hors d'oeuvres, or breakfast for the reception. Most DIY books simply show you how to make cheap crafts rather than recommending creative ways to feed people, get them to dance, and get those photos shot. (However I did just read A Practical Wedding by Meg Keene and, aside from making me cry repeatedly, it goes into those sorts of things). On top of that, there’s ton of professionals telling you about the horrors of DIY and everyone from your family to complete strangers telling you what you need to make it a real wedding or how your guest won’t have any fun without a full bar. Some of those people do have your interests at heart, but others just like being bossy or want you to hire them.

Baroque Crystal Pendant Necklace, Silver by merryalchemybridal

So if you have your heart set on those 100+ people, having a wedding while it's still nice outside, and feeding people real food, what are you going to do? First of all, I recommend figuring out what is most important to you and putting most of your money to that. For me, it's going to be the wedding venue and possibly the videographer, but, after that, I'm going to have to work twice as hard (or possibly 4x) to figure out how to get the most bang for my buck. Like I said, it's a huge time expense but that's worth it to me. Luckily, as I'm an artist, I'm going to get creative! I hope I come up with some ideas you haven't thought of for your own wedding. 

Holidays White and Gold Ornate Dangle Earrings by pulpsushi

Once you've decided on what's most important , figure out approximately what your budget is. This number can be as loose or as tight as you want it, but it should have some bearing on reality, so get an idea how much your family, or their family, is (or isn’t) wiling to contribute, and how much you and your fiance can contribute as well. Now, if that number turns out to be way more then you expected, don’t just start throwing your money around for the wedding willy-nilly! Just because you have the money doesn’t mean you’ll want to spend all of it or that what you’re spending it on will be worth it the day of. Also, if you’re not careful, you might go over-budget, even if it seems like way more money than you could ever spend on one day. I’m sure your family will be pleased if you don’t spend it all, or you can always save it for the honeymoon! Now, if it’s less than you expected, don’t fret too much yet. It will work out somehow and worrying will just drive you crazy and then you might just end up over-spending on comfort food and cozy blankets to try and relax.

Blue Geek Men Tie Tack TC004 by GetGlassy

Finally, figure out what resources you have at your disposal. These aren’t just the objects you have that might help with decorating or serving your guests (though those help) but also includes any skills you and your friends have. These things might not actually save you money, but it will make things more personal and make your friends and family feel more involved. To do this, you really have to be the one to approach your friends and family. They may offer to help but you probably have a better idea of what you need. Most importantly, play to your helper’s strengths! If you have a friend who is awesome at baking, get them to bake something. Don’t ask them to help address invitations - that’s more of a job for someone with great handwriting. Keep in mind that, if you’rd asking someone to use a specialized skill, at least offer to pay for the materials they’ll use! This is especially true if they already are doing it professionally. You can ask how much they usually charge and they’ll probably offer to do it at a discount or for free as a wedding gift, but don’t expect it. They’re helping you out, so help them out as well. Also, you should be the one to bring up the money issue, as they might be too polite to and chances are you might forget when things start getting crazy later on, so they might have to remind you anyway. Although this might not save you much money, wouldn’t you rather show off a beautiful dress made by a friend than one picked up at a bridal salon? 

Dress by Holly Mccabe possibly available at Surviving Sisters' Boutique
 (Model: Amber Hawkinson, also Holly will be making my wedding dress)

Keep in mind items you can collect over time or borrow. For example, I already have a small collection of empty pasta jars I’ll be using as vases and my mom has a lovely white serving platter I intend to use for something. For this, you might just want to start keeping a list of things to ask to borrow later on, even if you’re not sure who would have it - you’d be surprised how many people have sound equipment sitting in their basements waiting to be used.

No matter what happens, whether things go exactly as planned or not, whether you spend hundreds or millions on the day, the important part is that you’re celebrating the love you have for one another and the uniting of a family of friends and relatives. Years later, you and your guests won’t be discussing how much they loved the deluxe porta-potty you sprung for, they’ll be telling stories about the toasts that were given, how much fun they had, and how the two of you just glowed while looking at one another.

~Amber - www.etsy.com/shop/amberhlynn

P.S. If any you guys out there have any wedding suggestions, feel free to leave a comment! We could use all the help we can get.

Silver Letterpress Thank You, set of 6 note cards by WishboneLetterpress